Movie theatre crooks

I don't go out and pay to see a movie at the theatre that often. And when I do it's usually on a film I'm excited to see visually projected up onto the big screen so the $12-15 and 2 plus captive hours is well spent.

A few weeks back I went and saw the new James Bond film at the Marina Del Rey AMC and while the theatre was fine, chairs were okay, floors wern't too sticky, so so screen. What really killed me was this "pre-show" nonsense. The "pre-show" as I believe it's called in it's essence is supposed to be "pre" the show or before the movie starts. Kind of what I'm imagining previews to be like. Right?!?

The film (or the whole previews, dancing popcorn, turn off cell phone bullshit) was scheduled to start at 9:40pm.

9:30 rolls around and we slide into our seats. For the next 10 minutes there are harmless Television commercials playing while the audience trickles in.

9:40pm horay!! Bond is going to begin after a couple previews!!

9:40-9:50pm and these shitty TELEVISION COMMERCIALS have now been playing for 20 f-ing minutes!! Why in tarnation am I paying $11 to watch 10 minutes of television commercials??

9:50pm After the overly long drawn out commercials for consumer products there was 10 odd minutes of previews and announcements.

10pm : Bond...Finally, after 20 minutes of wasting my time the movie reveals itself.

Film directors, prodcuers and executives, who spend countless hours trying to analyze what the public will think of thier films never have to sit through 20 minutes of junk. They should!! Each time they go to screen a film, they should sit through commercials, previews and dancing cell phones and see how they like it.

I know a better movie going existence. It's out there and it doesn't involve paying to see things I can get for free on the internet or broadcast TV. Industry screenings, Netflix, Tivo, HBO, HULU, illegal downloads. All these things have been created to make our lives eaiser and more efficient AND are much cheaper than going to the theatre.

Voting

Yesterday 8am I voted. I was very excited to vote because not only would I be contribuiting to the democratic process but I would get a sticker that says "I voted". I think everyone really loves those stickers maybe more so than the actual voting.

My sticker was lost in transit having went to the polling place before work, I than come home for a shower and change. Before heading off to work I double checked that my precious sticker was on.

By the time I got to work and sat down it was gone.

Ahhhh good wave good

Beautifully overcast Saturday at Malibu and Pat, Fro and I got great waves... More or less just like the video.

Surfing thru the Jewish New Year

Around 4pm today (Wednesday) my friend Fro and I went out to have an afternoon surf at the Venice Pier. It was a beautiful day, 85 degrees, sunny and typically shitty Venice waves. Everything was going just fine until pieces of bread started to rain down on top of us.

Now there are 2 sides of the pier. One side 10 people on surf and body boards, the other side no people. So where do all of the bread chuckers decide to hurl their bread (symbolizes throwing out you're sins for a fresh start to the Jewish New Year) of course right onto the side where everyone is surfing.

This is a pain because:

a) Bread being hurled from 20 feet overhead is never fun.
b) Dirty seagulls really like bread
c) It's really impossible to throw the wet bread back at the people on the pier.
d) The fat Jewish woman with a napkin covering her head who even after being asked, yelled and pleaded with not to throw any more bread on the surfing side still threw it.
e) I don't know what these people were doing because the holiday was YESTERDAY!

20 Minutes = 3 hours

Now that I'm finally back from living abroad for the past 8 months I realize that I don't have much to do before I start the full court job hunting press. I do enjoy writing down thoughts. I enjoy just getting things out there...out where? I don't know. Just stream of blahhhh and not really having to know where anything is going. Not having to care about grammar, spelling, punctuation or making any sense.

I spent the better part of today unpacking a slew of boxes that i had kept garaged. In this unpacking it became apparent that I have way to many clothes. Most of which I don't wear. How I accumulated this many clothes blows my fucking mind.

Going thru the clothes each one holds a little story, a little nostalgia if you may. The T-shirt I got for doing community service or attending some holiday party, the pants I never got hemmed, the suit jacket from 10 years ago. This nostalgia coupled with my family history of chronic pack-rat-tism has kept me from throwing just about anything away.

Boxing everything up, driving 2 blocks and donating everything would take ohhhh about 20 minutes. Instead, having no "time crunch" and no where to be I got the idea to try and sell the stuff.

Sell to who?

First thought was to have a quaint yard sale! Get some color coded sticker dots, sit on my front porch in the sun, a big blanket spread out with "vintage" t-shirts, old socks, used novels, movie posters, and half working electronics.

This garage sale in my mind was going to be glorious. People handing me money while I sipped lemonade, meeting my neighbors neighbors seeing them inspect my old boxer shorts and test the like new "I sear it worked" toaster oven.

Well, it was Monday...

So, with my daydream shattered I loaded up one huge duffell bag and a large garbage bag that my roommate, Dan had been planning on donating for a couple months into my car and down to the "vintage" clothing store.

Arriving at the trendy Melrose avenue store it was empty (ahhh I love commerce in LA during normal daytime hours when the average suckers are at work) except for the 12 people waiting in line to sell their old clothes. Apparently this is what people in LA do who don't have jobs. Sell clothes instead of working.

When my name was finally called I stood at a counter and was greeted by a fashionably clothed girl wearing some kind of towel one piece shirt dress that was clearly "vintage" aka someone dropped it off yesterday and this chick scooped it up for herself.

She went about looking at all my clothes and putting them into two piles. One HUGE the other tiny. I assumed that since I was making funny small talk with her that she was buying all the clothes in the HUGE pile and leaving the odds and ends to be donated.

Well was I wrong...My small talk isn't funny...and worse yet she didn't want the HUGE pile.

Before purchasing my tiny pile (sounds dirty) she called over the other 3 store workers and had them each scrutinize her finds. The 2 co-workers, each with their own very unique "vintage" styles huddled around each other and whispered to the other talking about my precious clothing before unjustly discarding it to the HUGE pile.

So, after 2 hours I sold less than 5 percent of the 2 huge bags of clothes I had schleped in and still had to take the remainder of the clothes to goodwill. It was a big waste of time but I made out with $50.

So, today. Day 1 without a job I got paid $16.67 an hour. How am I going to make money tomorrow?

Qatar sucks

Qatar currently holds the distinction of being the richest (per captia) country in the entire world. With all these riches I expected a lovely time of my 6 hour layover however this is not the case. The airport is the worst.

There are several reasons:
1) I'm stuck here for 6 hours waiting for my plane and am too cheap to pay the $30 for a visa (being cheap isn't Qatar airport's fault but one of my own doings)
2) It's 125 degrees outside and there is some kind of sand storm, usually this doesn't make much of a difference inside a climate controlled bubble. However, I just went to the bathroom, number 2, and the water coming from the bowl was super heated, like crazy burning hot and you could feel the steam coming up...not pleasant.
3) Everything is super expensive and their are no places to change money. We just paid $10 US for 2 cups of chai tea and then sitting in the coffee store the waiter told us we were not allowed to play cards.
4) I'm super tired, we've already been travelling for 24 hours, been to 2 other airports and have one more to go (Bangkok, Delhi (overnight), Qatar, Amman (in 3 hours) and then overland to Israel the following morning. In all 5 countries in 2 days.
5) The Internet is free. BUT and this is a big "but". The machine kicks you off every 10 minutes and gives no warning or countdown timer.
6) The airport doesn't have gates, it's one of those places where you get on a little shuttle bus to and from the airplane. The ride is long too, it takes 10 min from gate to plane.
7) I like to complain.
8) I miss home and still have a couple more airports, cities, security checks, bus rides, borders to cross before I get there.
9( The VIP lounges won't let us in. We got the frequent flier card they made us fill out but turns out to be allowed in the VIP lounge I will have to take 10 more Qatar Airways flights till I accumulate enough points!! Why do they always want you to fill out those damm cards??

Engrish

Why is English the international languange? Boy oh boy did I get lucky that it's my first and more or less only language. I'm spoiled and so is every other American, Brit, Australian and Canadian that we don't really need to learn another language to be able to travel. What happens if you only spoke French?? Good luck trying to book a hotel room, take the bus or talk to any of your fellow travellers.

Travelling around the world you hear some damm funny conversations in chopped upped broken down Engrish. Everyone is trying thier best and most speak fairly well. I feel lucky that it isn't Spanish, Korean, Hindi or any other language needed to get by. Sometimes, actually a lot you can't help laughing when people are spending 20 minutes figuring out if the price is 17 or 72. If not first understood either one of the parties involved start raising thier voices thinking that yelling "17" or "72" will help them be understood...

Point of the rant is that more of us Americans should travel. It's easy, cheap(er than staying at home) and there are tons of things in the world to see, do and laugh at.

Political Unrest in Thailand

Once again crisis has followed me. This time to Thailand where there have been massive protests in Bangkok against the current government's policies. The prime minister has declared a state of emergency and several of the airports and train stations have been shut down.

So instead of joining the riots, protests and possible life threatening violence I have spent the last 4 days on a stretch of beach in southern Thailand without electricity for most of the day. The only way in is by boat and the only fighting being heard is between Westerners to play Jack Johnson or Bob Marley and which one of the 5 restaurants with the exact same menu they should eat at that night. Not to be naive...But I've lived in places with political unrest, riots, demonstrations and (knock on wood) as long as you steer clear of the few areas where the protests are happening things are ok.

Right now we are near Krabi in Southern Thailand and staying for a night or two then making our way slowly up to Bangkok to hopefully meet up with a couple friends...Linke? and Dorner?

Thai Tour Guide

Walking around Phukett, Thailand you cannot help but notice how many older western guys are walking around with young fit good looking Thai girls. Now maybe these guys picked up the girls becasue they had great personalities or were charming but that is a big maybe. More than likley the western guys paid for the girls and they are everywhere in the town. At the movies, on the beach, in restaurants and the odd looking couples seem to get along just fine.

Since Thailand is not our native country and having a guide show you around is always the best way. In the past, when I have gotten these guides they have been more or less boring. Jamie and I thought...Why not higer a Thai hooker as a tour guide for the day. Minus the sex I'm sure that she would be a great tour guide. I mean, she knows the good local spots to eat and to see the sights as she's lived and worked in the area and speaks fluent Thai.

We are on a small Island Ko Phi Phi, staying in a little hut 50 feet from the beach. Last night it rained thru the roof.

Massage, T-Shirt, DVD Movie

After 24 hours of travel from Bangkok to Phuket we arrived exausted, dirty and ready to sit on the beach. In 2004 Phuket was destroyed along with a bunch of the other islands by a tsunami. From what I can tell they have rebuilt with the most amount of massage, suit and t-shirt stores I have ever seen. You can't walk more than 2 stores without being accosted by 8-15 thai girls (and the occasional Ladyboy) asking you if you want "Thai Maaaaasage".

The shopping down here was great, if I had any extra money I'd be brining back home tons and tons of clothes, electronics, and a little of everything else. Come to think of it, Thailand would be a great place for kids and their parents to do the annual back to school shopping. Everything is 50-70 percent cheaper here and it's all the same crap so why not just fly over to Thailand instead of going to Target. The beaches are much better here and parking isn't an issue.

Headed to Ko Phi Phi tomorrow.

One stop Bangkok

Bangkok is a wonderfully amusing, vibrant, clean, huge city. To get from one place to the other it you really aren't able to walk. So, the tuk tuk (3 wheeled moto-taxi's) drivers ask you how much you are willing to pay to go from point A to B. When you give them a figure say 50 Baht (about $2) they say how bout 10 Baht which seems great. But things here are sometimes to good to be true. Once you take off they tell you that you are going to be making a couple stops at some travel agency and a suit shop where upon you try to convince them "NO STOP NO STOP". Well...once you say those words they STOP...the engine and tell you to get out. This has happened already 5 times.

We are on our way out of Bangkok tomorrow to take the overnight train down to Phukett and go Island hopping and sunning.

Delhi Belly and Thailand?

After 2900 Kilometers in a tiny car with a strange India man posing as a guide and driver. We were, to say the least over travelling around in India and the hassle, bad weather, non paved roads and not being able to walk anywhere. It just wasn't the right season to travel in India. The Taj was beautiful and very Taj-esque. The cost for Indian people to enter the Taj is about 50 US cents. For foreigners it's about $20 US.

Whatever the reason for jumping ship on India we got airline tickets and off to the "Land of Smiles", Thailand.

As soon as we started our Thailand version of the trip I got a case of Delhi Belly and was running, galloping and trotting to the bathroom. My stomach was burbbling and upset, and still is for the last couple days.

Arriving in Thailand we took the city bus into downtown Bangkok we were greeted with an western guy, Joe Schmo negociating with a Thai hooker. Mind you, this was at 7am.

We are staying in the "flash-packer" district of Koa San road and it's a constant party with street pad thai, fake purses, clothes and fresh fruit vendors all hustling to get your money for "cheap cheap".

It's much more developed in Thailand. A little more expensive but first day there was blue skies and we sat by the pool.

India, wow. It's so much. Everywhere you look there is something going on. You can point a camera in any direction and get a picture that looks like some exotic postcard. People, animals, markets, roads, automobiles. It's all amazing and intimidating.

We've had some good days and some bad days here so far. It's not an easy country to travel in. It is definitely not a tourist resort where you can go and everything is friendly, simple and easy to use. Imagine the US with 4 times as many people and 8 times as many problems.

Today, as we were at yet another fort, this time in Jaipur, the capital of Rajastan with 12 million people I was thinking... What if the US had 1 billion people (like India) instead of 250 million. If i had to share everything I had with 11 other brothers and sisters!?! or my nice and what i consider small apartment with 7 other people instead of 1. It's that crowded here. The streets clogged, potholed and in need of constant repair and attention.

However, if i was a cow...

India would be the first place on my agenda. The cow's get to roam free. Today in a traffic jam the only ones getting through and making any forward progress where the cows and they looked content to battle traffic and eat along the way.

Also, at the fort there were Elephants, huge and small. In all I saw about 15 of them and none of them looked too happy. One of these elephants received an unwelcome surprise when 3 overweight westerners got on top of them for a ride. In protest the elephant started to get up with one of the heavy ones hanging off the back. The young boy driving the elephant proceeded to beat the huge beast over the head with his stick which got it to sit back down. I don't know but if i were that elephant i would buck those plumpers right off and head for the peanuts and if i had to overturn a couple cars in the process.

Rajastan Road kill

2 dogs
1 cow (white)
1 Camel (The Indian camel's are much healthier looking than the camel's in the middle east).

So, yesterday I'm walking around the streets of beautiful Udaipur and have just drank a tasty and refreshing mango juice box, 20 US cents. All finished I carry the box around, down the street, up the street looking for a trash can. Since I've been a little kid and was a boy scout I was always taught to leave places cleaner than when you first got there...i.e pick up trash and throw yours away. However in India there are no trash cans, you ask people where a trash can is and hold up the juice box and they take it from you and throw it on the ground.

I'll report back when I find a city trash can. There have been many nice pails in our hotel rooms.

More adventures thru Rajastan

As we continue our adventure thru Rajastan we are getting very educated about the moguls and past empires of Maraja. Now, the driver that we have speaks english, just not the english that either Jamie or I can really understand. So you ask him a question and he does one of two things. 1) Goes on and on for 15 minutes about a religious cow, caste system or dream that one of the religious gurus had 2) Laughs and says, "no no no, very bad".

Today we are in Udipur, which has 2 giants underfilled lakes and was the setting for the middle of the lake palace in Bond's Octopussy film. Now that I've been to a Bond set as well as an Indiana Jones set my travels are complete and I'm ready to come home.

Still trying to post pictures...

India's national hobby

I thought was cricket, that complex game that lasts for 5 days with guys standing around in white outfits. Turns out the favored hobby is honking the car horn. The sound of the horn is everywhere, all the time and with different pitches, tones and melodies has become an almost after thought. Driving along on the roads often bumpy and unmaintained roads many things pass you by.

The giant trucks with ornately painted letters "HONK PLEASE" encouraging this honking, camels pulling loads carts filled with propane tanks, peacocks, dogs, women in brightly colored sari's...doing heavy road work. Everything is something to look at. Sitting anywhere, big city, little roadside tea stand there is amazing stuff to look at and in return the Indians love to stare...Mostly at Jamie.

Right now we are in Jodhupur and we are going to another batch of cities with difficult to pronounce names and we will end up in a week at the Taj Mahal.

I'm bitten and can't type anymore because I need both hands to itch.

Pics coming soon.

I'm here, India.

After, shots, malaria pills, buying stupid stuff that I'll never need (of course i didn't buy the one thing I needed, a power adaptor) and would have been cheaper in India. I have arrived.

Arrived at 3am and took a taxi into Delhi, the cab driver asked us if it was our first time in India and then proceeded to drive like it would be our last.

Delhi at night is a scary place to get into, it's hot, raining and the narrow alleyways were blocked by giant city cows. The city cow is a friendly cow and loves to be photographed and given attention and milkings.

After sleeping the night and the instant culture shock away, Jamie and I were overwhelmed with India and headed to the government tourism office where we found out that all the trains were booked up and got sold on taking a car with a driver to travel around the North Western state of Rajastan.

So now we are in Rajastan with a driver and going from one temple, palace and fort to the next. It's mighty different out here and it's taking some time to get used to the way things work.

Already we are balking when an Indian vendor tries to charge us the tourist rate for a bottle of water from 40 US cents compared to the local 20 cents

Mosques & Malls

This about sums up Amman. We went on one of those super touristy City Bus Tours which claims to take you to all the sites and has something like 30 stops. Basically all the stops were at the fancy new malls in Amman, which there are 3 within a mile of each other and lots of Mosques. The Mosques are beautiful but it's like Asia and temples. Once you've seen 3 you've really seen them all.

The Jordan people have all been super nice, minus the glaring at Jamie because her ankles are showing or me because i am so good looking. just kidding.

Went back to the chicken place and ate another big meal and took pictures with all the staff. I think if I don't go back to Hollywood I'm at least assured a job in the al jihad chicken restaurant here in picturesque Amman.

About to make the trek to the Queen Aliya (King Hussien's wife) airport to catch a flight to India via Qatar.

Everything in this country is named after the King, Hussein and his wife or daughter. It's kinda annoying that everything is King Hussein Hospital, King Hussein Highway, King Hussein Bridge, etc, etc.

Upward and onward to India...

Aman

I have found the next great chicken restaurant. Forget about California Chicken Cafe, Zankou, Koo Koo Roo, Kenny Rogers Roasters etc. Next to the hotel in Aman we discovered an amazing restaurant (i have no idea the name as my Arabic is rusty). Rotisserie chicken is one of my favorite things and I'm definitely going back to this place at least once more while I'm in town (Jamie doesn't think so but little does she know...HAHAHAHA)

Took the public bus from Petra to Aman and here there is no bus schedule. The bus leaves once it is filled up. So after sitting for an hour the driver got in and left. He left without honking or anything and there were people who got left with their stuff on board. Luckily or crazily whichever you prefer the bus driver went in a circle around the town Petra and went back to pick up the stragglers.

The ride was awful, hot air blowing at us thru open windows for 3 hours and cramped confines. The truck stop we went to was depressing but had cheap sodas and a 2 giant coolers filled with nothing but red bull.

Petra and donkey BMW

I'm glad to say that my nose itch has gone away and even more happy that the hotel worker who fell down the stairs came back to work a few hours later and is just fine minus the 2 black eyes.


Hiked inside the Petra monument park today and learned that it is considered by some to be the 8th wonder of the world. I think this is just blowing smoke up the tourists ass but the park was very beautiful and great weather. What the other 7 wonders are?

Petra is a huge national park type place with miles and miles of hiking trails with gorgeous caves and elaborate temples carved into the side of rock mountains. This is where some parts of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was filmed. Up until a couple years back native Jordanian wanderer types called Bedouins lived in the caves full time. The Jordanian King kicked them out and resettled them to nearby villages. Now they walk in every day and try to sell you stuff such as Donkey Taxi rides, bracelets and bottles of water. Young kids are the ones trying to sell you on the donkey rides with promises of "air conditioning", "Donkey BMW", "Donkey Ferrari". I was holding out for Donkey Honda Civic so no rides were had.

Petra was amazing and we had a great day hiking from 9am till 4pm. Sweating in the sun and taking in the beauty.


Tomorrow depart for Aman, the capital of Jordan and our cab driver told us that there is plenty to do there including lots of American restaurants, TGI Friday's, Chili's etc. I'm really hoping that there is a Taco Bell as I've been craving a Nacho Supreme for the last couple of months.

pain in my...

after buses borders and israeli's i've arrived in Jordan. everything went smooth, spent the night in the southern most part of israel, Eilat and arrived early today in Petra.

For the last 2 days i've been having a crazy annoying itch in my nose. no matter what i do, no matter how much i pick, scratch, dig, flex or flick whatever it is there is something stuck in the right part of my nostril. I think i'm starting to develop a tick. or maybe that's whats stuck up there?

checked into a hotel and the comotion of this 20 room place has been quite interesting. the burly jordanian man who runs the front desk keeps calling jamie "baby" and he groped me or i think he did. he was very excited that we were checking into a first floor room and after a successful bargaining session he grabbed my flank and was giggling. this was all very creepy coming from a 300 pound arab man. then while napping in the room started to hear a wailing sound from the hallway. i assumed a goat wandered into the hotel or some child was crying. well, i was wrong. turns out that one of the hotel staff, an egyptian who seemed 'challanged' had fallen down the stairs. he looked alright, no blood, maybe a concussion and the ambulance came and took him away. besides the theatrics the hotel is decent and looking forward to hiking the ancient ruins / city of petra early tomorrow.

1st post ever

Wow, I'm writing on the Internet. Blogging they call it. I hear it's the new popular thing. My dad started one, my girlfriend spent 6 hours frustrating herself with one and Perez Hilton has one.

My my it's my turn to have one.

Today is my last full day in Tel Aviv before taking off on a 2 month trip to Jordan then onto India. I'm looking forward to it and scared as well about how much stuff thier is to do, see and get the diareahea from.

For the last 5 months I've been living in Tel Aviv, half working, half playing and enjoying myself living like a college student, scraping the insides of the change dish and paying for beers with dimes. Oh how I don't miss the real world.

The 5 months here flew by. Many new friends, many memories, love, and Israel.

Bye Tel Aviv, hello Jordan.