Thai Tour Guide

Walking around Phukett, Thailand you cannot help but notice how many older western guys are walking around with young fit good looking Thai girls. Now maybe these guys picked up the girls becasue they had great personalities or were charming but that is a big maybe. More than likley the western guys paid for the girls and they are everywhere in the town. At the movies, on the beach, in restaurants and the odd looking couples seem to get along just fine.

Since Thailand is not our native country and having a guide show you around is always the best way. In the past, when I have gotten these guides they have been more or less boring. Jamie and I thought...Why not higer a Thai hooker as a tour guide for the day. Minus the sex I'm sure that she would be a great tour guide. I mean, she knows the good local spots to eat and to see the sights as she's lived and worked in the area and speaks fluent Thai.

We are on a small Island Ko Phi Phi, staying in a little hut 50 feet from the beach. Last night it rained thru the roof.

Massage, T-Shirt, DVD Movie

After 24 hours of travel from Bangkok to Phuket we arrived exausted, dirty and ready to sit on the beach. In 2004 Phuket was destroyed along with a bunch of the other islands by a tsunami. From what I can tell they have rebuilt with the most amount of massage, suit and t-shirt stores I have ever seen. You can't walk more than 2 stores without being accosted by 8-15 thai girls (and the occasional Ladyboy) asking you if you want "Thai Maaaaasage".

The shopping down here was great, if I had any extra money I'd be brining back home tons and tons of clothes, electronics, and a little of everything else. Come to think of it, Thailand would be a great place for kids and their parents to do the annual back to school shopping. Everything is 50-70 percent cheaper here and it's all the same crap so why not just fly over to Thailand instead of going to Target. The beaches are much better here and parking isn't an issue.

Headed to Ko Phi Phi tomorrow.

One stop Bangkok

Bangkok is a wonderfully amusing, vibrant, clean, huge city. To get from one place to the other it you really aren't able to walk. So, the tuk tuk (3 wheeled moto-taxi's) drivers ask you how much you are willing to pay to go from point A to B. When you give them a figure say 50 Baht (about $2) they say how bout 10 Baht which seems great. But things here are sometimes to good to be true. Once you take off they tell you that you are going to be making a couple stops at some travel agency and a suit shop where upon you try to convince them "NO STOP NO STOP". Well...once you say those words they STOP...the engine and tell you to get out. This has happened already 5 times.

We are on our way out of Bangkok tomorrow to take the overnight train down to Phukett and go Island hopping and sunning.

Delhi Belly and Thailand?

After 2900 Kilometers in a tiny car with a strange India man posing as a guide and driver. We were, to say the least over travelling around in India and the hassle, bad weather, non paved roads and not being able to walk anywhere. It just wasn't the right season to travel in India. The Taj was beautiful and very Taj-esque. The cost for Indian people to enter the Taj is about 50 US cents. For foreigners it's about $20 US.

Whatever the reason for jumping ship on India we got airline tickets and off to the "Land of Smiles", Thailand.

As soon as we started our Thailand version of the trip I got a case of Delhi Belly and was running, galloping and trotting to the bathroom. My stomach was burbbling and upset, and still is for the last couple days.

Arriving in Thailand we took the city bus into downtown Bangkok we were greeted with an western guy, Joe Schmo negociating with a Thai hooker. Mind you, this was at 7am.

We are staying in the "flash-packer" district of Koa San road and it's a constant party with street pad thai, fake purses, clothes and fresh fruit vendors all hustling to get your money for "cheap cheap".

It's much more developed in Thailand. A little more expensive but first day there was blue skies and we sat by the pool.

India, wow. It's so much. Everywhere you look there is something going on. You can point a camera in any direction and get a picture that looks like some exotic postcard. People, animals, markets, roads, automobiles. It's all amazing and intimidating.

We've had some good days and some bad days here so far. It's not an easy country to travel in. It is definitely not a tourist resort where you can go and everything is friendly, simple and easy to use. Imagine the US with 4 times as many people and 8 times as many problems.

Today, as we were at yet another fort, this time in Jaipur, the capital of Rajastan with 12 million people I was thinking... What if the US had 1 billion people (like India) instead of 250 million. If i had to share everything I had with 11 other brothers and sisters!?! or my nice and what i consider small apartment with 7 other people instead of 1. It's that crowded here. The streets clogged, potholed and in need of constant repair and attention.

However, if i was a cow...

India would be the first place on my agenda. The cow's get to roam free. Today in a traffic jam the only ones getting through and making any forward progress where the cows and they looked content to battle traffic and eat along the way.

Also, at the fort there were Elephants, huge and small. In all I saw about 15 of them and none of them looked too happy. One of these elephants received an unwelcome surprise when 3 overweight westerners got on top of them for a ride. In protest the elephant started to get up with one of the heavy ones hanging off the back. The young boy driving the elephant proceeded to beat the huge beast over the head with his stick which got it to sit back down. I don't know but if i were that elephant i would buck those plumpers right off and head for the peanuts and if i had to overturn a couple cars in the process.

Rajastan Road kill

2 dogs
1 cow (white)
1 Camel (The Indian camel's are much healthier looking than the camel's in the middle east).

So, yesterday I'm walking around the streets of beautiful Udaipur and have just drank a tasty and refreshing mango juice box, 20 US cents. All finished I carry the box around, down the street, up the street looking for a trash can. Since I've been a little kid and was a boy scout I was always taught to leave places cleaner than when you first got there...i.e pick up trash and throw yours away. However in India there are no trash cans, you ask people where a trash can is and hold up the juice box and they take it from you and throw it on the ground.

I'll report back when I find a city trash can. There have been many nice pails in our hotel rooms.

More adventures thru Rajastan

As we continue our adventure thru Rajastan we are getting very educated about the moguls and past empires of Maraja. Now, the driver that we have speaks english, just not the english that either Jamie or I can really understand. So you ask him a question and he does one of two things. 1) Goes on and on for 15 minutes about a religious cow, caste system or dream that one of the religious gurus had 2) Laughs and says, "no no no, very bad".

Today we are in Udipur, which has 2 giants underfilled lakes and was the setting for the middle of the lake palace in Bond's Octopussy film. Now that I've been to a Bond set as well as an Indiana Jones set my travels are complete and I'm ready to come home.

Still trying to post pictures...

India's national hobby

I thought was cricket, that complex game that lasts for 5 days with guys standing around in white outfits. Turns out the favored hobby is honking the car horn. The sound of the horn is everywhere, all the time and with different pitches, tones and melodies has become an almost after thought. Driving along on the roads often bumpy and unmaintained roads many things pass you by.

The giant trucks with ornately painted letters "HONK PLEASE" encouraging this honking, camels pulling loads carts filled with propane tanks, peacocks, dogs, women in brightly colored sari's...doing heavy road work. Everything is something to look at. Sitting anywhere, big city, little roadside tea stand there is amazing stuff to look at and in return the Indians love to stare...Mostly at Jamie.

Right now we are in Jodhupur and we are going to another batch of cities with difficult to pronounce names and we will end up in a week at the Taj Mahal.

I'm bitten and can't type anymore because I need both hands to itch.

Pics coming soon.

I'm here, India.

After, shots, malaria pills, buying stupid stuff that I'll never need (of course i didn't buy the one thing I needed, a power adaptor) and would have been cheaper in India. I have arrived.

Arrived at 3am and took a taxi into Delhi, the cab driver asked us if it was our first time in India and then proceeded to drive like it would be our last.

Delhi at night is a scary place to get into, it's hot, raining and the narrow alleyways were blocked by giant city cows. The city cow is a friendly cow and loves to be photographed and given attention and milkings.

After sleeping the night and the instant culture shock away, Jamie and I were overwhelmed with India and headed to the government tourism office where we found out that all the trains were booked up and got sold on taking a car with a driver to travel around the North Western state of Rajastan.

So now we are in Rajastan with a driver and going from one temple, palace and fort to the next. It's mighty different out here and it's taking some time to get used to the way things work.

Already we are balking when an Indian vendor tries to charge us the tourist rate for a bottle of water from 40 US cents compared to the local 20 cents

Mosques & Malls

This about sums up Amman. We went on one of those super touristy City Bus Tours which claims to take you to all the sites and has something like 30 stops. Basically all the stops were at the fancy new malls in Amman, which there are 3 within a mile of each other and lots of Mosques. The Mosques are beautiful but it's like Asia and temples. Once you've seen 3 you've really seen them all.

The Jordan people have all been super nice, minus the glaring at Jamie because her ankles are showing or me because i am so good looking. just kidding.

Went back to the chicken place and ate another big meal and took pictures with all the staff. I think if I don't go back to Hollywood I'm at least assured a job in the al jihad chicken restaurant here in picturesque Amman.

About to make the trek to the Queen Aliya (King Hussien's wife) airport to catch a flight to India via Qatar.

Everything in this country is named after the King, Hussein and his wife or daughter. It's kinda annoying that everything is King Hussein Hospital, King Hussein Highway, King Hussein Bridge, etc, etc.

Upward and onward to India...

Aman

I have found the next great chicken restaurant. Forget about California Chicken Cafe, Zankou, Koo Koo Roo, Kenny Rogers Roasters etc. Next to the hotel in Aman we discovered an amazing restaurant (i have no idea the name as my Arabic is rusty). Rotisserie chicken is one of my favorite things and I'm definitely going back to this place at least once more while I'm in town (Jamie doesn't think so but little does she know...HAHAHAHA)

Took the public bus from Petra to Aman and here there is no bus schedule. The bus leaves once it is filled up. So after sitting for an hour the driver got in and left. He left without honking or anything and there were people who got left with their stuff on board. Luckily or crazily whichever you prefer the bus driver went in a circle around the town Petra and went back to pick up the stragglers.

The ride was awful, hot air blowing at us thru open windows for 3 hours and cramped confines. The truck stop we went to was depressing but had cheap sodas and a 2 giant coolers filled with nothing but red bull.

Petra and donkey BMW

I'm glad to say that my nose itch has gone away and even more happy that the hotel worker who fell down the stairs came back to work a few hours later and is just fine minus the 2 black eyes.


Hiked inside the Petra monument park today and learned that it is considered by some to be the 8th wonder of the world. I think this is just blowing smoke up the tourists ass but the park was very beautiful and great weather. What the other 7 wonders are?

Petra is a huge national park type place with miles and miles of hiking trails with gorgeous caves and elaborate temples carved into the side of rock mountains. This is where some parts of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was filmed. Up until a couple years back native Jordanian wanderer types called Bedouins lived in the caves full time. The Jordanian King kicked them out and resettled them to nearby villages. Now they walk in every day and try to sell you stuff such as Donkey Taxi rides, bracelets and bottles of water. Young kids are the ones trying to sell you on the donkey rides with promises of "air conditioning", "Donkey BMW", "Donkey Ferrari". I was holding out for Donkey Honda Civic so no rides were had.

Petra was amazing and we had a great day hiking from 9am till 4pm. Sweating in the sun and taking in the beauty.


Tomorrow depart for Aman, the capital of Jordan and our cab driver told us that there is plenty to do there including lots of American restaurants, TGI Friday's, Chili's etc. I'm really hoping that there is a Taco Bell as I've been craving a Nacho Supreme for the last couple of months.

pain in my...

after buses borders and israeli's i've arrived in Jordan. everything went smooth, spent the night in the southern most part of israel, Eilat and arrived early today in Petra.

For the last 2 days i've been having a crazy annoying itch in my nose. no matter what i do, no matter how much i pick, scratch, dig, flex or flick whatever it is there is something stuck in the right part of my nostril. I think i'm starting to develop a tick. or maybe that's whats stuck up there?

checked into a hotel and the comotion of this 20 room place has been quite interesting. the burly jordanian man who runs the front desk keeps calling jamie "baby" and he groped me or i think he did. he was very excited that we were checking into a first floor room and after a successful bargaining session he grabbed my flank and was giggling. this was all very creepy coming from a 300 pound arab man. then while napping in the room started to hear a wailing sound from the hallway. i assumed a goat wandered into the hotel or some child was crying. well, i was wrong. turns out that one of the hotel staff, an egyptian who seemed 'challanged' had fallen down the stairs. he looked alright, no blood, maybe a concussion and the ambulance came and took him away. besides the theatrics the hotel is decent and looking forward to hiking the ancient ruins / city of petra early tomorrow.